I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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