so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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