it wasn't lemon gatorade
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize