No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize