Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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