He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
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I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
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I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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