will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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