Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
