So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
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Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
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He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.