woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize