Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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