I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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