Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
