there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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