I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
