i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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