I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think a kid would responsible me up
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
