I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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