Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
