So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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