She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
