so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
