I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize