i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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