I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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