Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
