is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
