none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
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After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
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You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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