She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
