My cat gives me a boner
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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