So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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