what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
did i just pee glitter
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
