i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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