Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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