Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize