if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize