in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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