you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
