I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
