So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
