it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize