You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This baby is an asshole
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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