It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
