My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
