This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Is it because I queefed?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
