i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
