I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
