It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
