Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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