how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
