Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
either way he was missing a nipple.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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