Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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