i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
