do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize