Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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