Are we in a gay sports bar?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
